birthday, birthday

Auden and Nelson wrapped up one of Auden's toys in his onesie-- this was one of Auden's gifts to me!  I love this picture, like he's looking at his daddy all proud and showing off his gift.... he soon reclaimed it though, as seen below:  

Warning: I had a hard time writing this post.  My thoughts have been jumbled lately when it comes to my feelings about motherhood.  too many emotions. not enough words to convey them in the English dictionary. If only I could copy and paste my thoughts/heart.

This past birthday was an interesting one.  It was my first as a mother. It was my first away from any family. It was a first where I had kind of forgotten it was coming up.....
But my sweet husband didn't forget!  I woke up to a pile of presents wrapped in colorful t-shirts {who needs wrapping paper, anyway??} and a little boy who had helped his daddy wrap them up.
This past year of my life has been a really great one.  A really great one.  Needless to say, but I will, the greatest thing was becoming the mother to this beautiful angel of a boy.  I wake up excited to see him.  Even if it is at 3:00am.  I miss his little coos and curiosity.  He inspires me to be better. He has brought a new love and joy for this world around me.  I sometimes wonder if he can feel how much I love him. Then he says "uhm-ma (엄마)" {mom in Korean} and my wonders are reassured.  He knows. He knows I know. He knows he has me wrapped around those sweet little drooly fingers.
One night last week, as I was laying him down to bed, I kissed him goodnight and went to walk out the room, when he looked at me with a slight smile and whispered, "엄마, 엄마, 마, 마, 마" and I teared up.  I went to hold him for a few more moments.  There are only about two more things that have been more precious in my life.
I'm cherishing these fleeting baby moments.  He'll have years and years to be an adult but only a few more months to be a baby.  There is a commercial currently being played during the Olympics where athletes are portrayed as children. A mother is then shown in the stands, gasping as she sees her son jump from the diving board.  The caption then says something along the lines of, "to them, they'll always be children."  I know I still have my baby before me, but it feels that way already.  I look at this rapidly growing boy and think, "you're still that vulnerable, fresh little creature that was placed in my arms on February 24th.... not this close-to six month old infant."
I'm excited for these next years.  Life is going to be so different-- something that I've never experienced before, but I am so excited.  So nervous.  So happy.  I've got the best, most supportive husband, and the cutest, sweetest, chubbiest baby.  What else could I wish for?

photos taken by the talented Nelson .